"God, why have you forsaken me?"

i opened the radio and that is what i heard.

well, the fuzz bout da vinci and gospel of judas.
all i can say is that... no matter what you
have read or what discoveries' been unearthed..
as long as your faith is strong, then you
dont have to worry.
but when every single bit of it's been shaken..
i guess you better re-evaluate your faith then.

-

there were days when i have to dress properly.
put on my suit..., a tie that im quite uncomfy
coz i do felt like choking and my newly shined shoes.

no, im not going anywhere.
and neither meeting some big ass individual.

well...
im just doing all that..

when my dad wants to talk to me.
those were when "us" my family are in
one roof. Dad wants to see me all formally
dressed with a reason of.. he just wants to
talk to me, privately. man to man.(ehem)

have you ever experienced your dad and you
being NOT in the level of your relationship
as father and son?

-

it always been...

like moving around acting you were remotely controlled
by some higher being. do this and do that.
i want you to be this and to be that.

yes,i have the benefit of living all by
myself. yes, i have the freedom to do
anything BUT i have to within..
WHAT THEY WANT ME TO DO AND TO BE.

-

as the shadows swathe me
into a life
i knew i dont want to be.
all from the very first heartbeat
i knew i have gone to a journey
that wasnt set for me.

-

the more i wanted to voluntarily
fail everything you want me to do
the more you push me harder
into squared walls that places
me in a trap that not even
an air can escape in to.

-

as i shut myself into darkness
i realized this darkness
was what i thought was LIFE.
as i open myself into brightness
i realized this brightness
brought me a life so SADDEN.

-

what good do i bring you
when what you brought me
is not what i should be...

-

a special shout outz to

ANN ala SUPERMODEL